Entry tags:

first work, helena, in my time of dying, nano, rated r, teenager, what i'd say

Section 6 (Instalment 3)
Word count: 1 234


Pleasure.

Max sank into it, immersing himself without second thoughts. His life didn't limit itself to that, oh, no, he still had the days to himself, to do with as he pleased - training, learning, still some time out on the streets with the friends he'd made first. Watch them grow differently, some still out on their own, others finding places or groups that accepted them too.

But when evening fell, he was there at Helena's place, dressed, smelling, looking just as he should to fit the place. Lush. (And he became aware of what people appreciated in his looks and made sure it was emphasized just right. And became aware just how much they did appreciate his looks and that got him to start looking around to see what it was that people appreciated in looks. And what it was that he appreciated. In the end, it wasn't looks, for him - was the conclusion. That didn't mean he didn't get attracted by looks, of course... far from it.)

He didn't always have guests, no. Not everybody who frequented Helena's was interested in one so young (as he started). Well, not in the beginning - later on he chose whether to see anybody or not. But that was later. Except after a while earlier and later mixed up in the pleasure and the learning and the feeling of belonging and he couldn't always have been precisely sure which was earlier and which was later - and yet he was, in the days measured by copied pages or practice-until-perfection sessions on the training mat. And that also helped. Not that he would do his magical gift for his job at night... just his... magical - gift. Not that kind of magical. Just, apparently magical enough to be wanted.
His gift to please.

And he did belong. He knew who everybody was, employees and guests and even drifters. He recalled what he had once known, that making people laugh got everything to be very much easier, and he employed it freely. As what he knew grew, both about people and concepts, his jokes and quips and questions and one-liners grew to be more and more outrageous - and more and more effective, especially when he wouldn't give up until people were indeed smiling or laughing. At first exasperated, rolling their eyes. Next time, less so. Until in the end they'd end up seeking him out because he could cheer them and was nto afraid to use it.

Some wondered what he was doing there, a boy too young, probably used so many ways, clever, nice enough to be anywhere that he wanted. He couldn't fully understand their confusion. He was exactly where he'd chosen to be, for the reasons that were still valid as the day he'd crossed the threshold. Nobody did to him what he didn't want, what he didn't fully enjoy. There was a place that he returned to at the end of the day, and it was warm and it was soft and it was interesting and he even found himself calling it 'home' on occasion, even if only had temporary connections to most of the people there.

Not Helena. She never stopped being who she'd began being, for him. Not a few of the other employees. And a few of the guests, on that note.

They'd teach him. They'd teach him how to use his body, and how to use his mind. What temptation was, over and over again, and what it should be. As he matured, more and more of the things he was taught made sense; more and more of that, he could make work. And he grew to love the challenges, the things that needed work, but oh how they worked afterwards, paying off over and over again.

About that time, the nickname 'fast Max' shifted meaning again. From how fast he would finish, to how fast he could make a partner come for the first time. When he put his mind to it.

And after he started to master the pleasures of the body, the drive of passion and the temptation of touch, he was taught about the role of the mind in the pleasures, and began to understand desire.

Desire did indeed begin in the mind. Temptation began in the mind. It wasn't a function of glands or even organs, protruding or impressed, even though those really played a significant role. It was all in the mind.

And he learned well how to set the desires on fire until right and wrong didn't quite matter, for either of them. Or... whatever other combination was working at the time, really. (There was charm in being rocked by a body being rocked by another body, for example.) He learned to coax knowledge of fantasies out so that they could be enacted, and next time it could all be more easily set afire.

He took pleasure in the knowing. He took pleasure in the power he had over his guests, and the power they had over him. But most of all, he took pleasure in pleasure, and soon after he started getting that right, his own guests stopped being affected in their choices by his age, but paying attention to what he would and could do, and loving it in turn.

He learned about sexual, sensual pleasure. He learned temptation - being tempted, tempting, watching temptation happen. He learned about satiation without long-term connection, without getting truly emotionally bound with anyone - his colleagues and guests were just that, and he learned, he was taught, how to keep it that way. True, there were regulars, but that wasn't quite the same as seeing anybody. The services he could provide, the pleasure he could provide, belonged to nobody in particular. Just to the one who was paying.

And they could be generous.

And he indulged in leaving through his senses. For three years. And learned, although many would say it was wrong for him to be used like that, even if he would end up not wanting that for his own children, for three years. And he had a home. Until more was demanded of him than he was willing to give. Temptation had lured him into a corner that he was thought not to have a way out, not to have a choice but staying in.

But he'd learned, about temptation. And he'd never forgotten, that for all he wanted to be there and felt good there...

It was his decision. And with facing the consequences... he could un-decide.

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